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Bah Hum Duck

((My first X-mas Story with Darkwing Duck characters! *throws confetti* Ok, I just came up with the basic plot after watching Mickey's X-mas carol. I watched some Darkwing Duck episodes right afterwards and got this awesome idea about our favorite masked mencace in the same boat. I apologize if he seems a tad ooc but, I had to in order to fit him into the story. He's not too ooc though. I promise.))

Bah Hum Duck
BY: Shade Hero Project-X

Chapter 1: The Christmas Party

The snow was falling softly over the St. Canard skyline. It was Christmas Eve and everyone was inside with their families setting up the Christmas tree, wrapping the last minute gifts and enjoying time with their families. Everyone seemed in a cheerful mood except for one duck. The city's public enemy walked through the empty streets heading towards one of his many hideouts. He had just got done torching the giant Christmas tree that was in front of city hall. He chuckled to himself as he walked. "Heh, Christmas. Pfft, that'll teach those idiots to celebrate such a useless holiday." He rubbed his shoulders in attempts to fend off the cold. He hated winter and he hated snow.

As he neared his hideout he could see a light on. As he neared the door he heard voices. "Shhhh, I think he's coming." Said a timid voice. Then the light went off. With a stern glare, Negaduck looked around the dark room as he entered. The door suddenly closed behind him and the lights turned back on. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Shouted the Fearsome Four with big smiles. QuackerJack jumped down from the tree after placing the star at the top. "Ok Megsy! Light 'er up!" Megavolt nodded and with a wiggle of his fingers he sent a current of electricity at the tree causing the lights to turn on and blink on their own. He then turned to Negaduck. "What do you think? We wanted to surprise you so, we let ourselves in."

Bushroot smiled as he walked up with some Christmas cookies he made. "Yeah, we figured you'd be alone this holiday so, we wanted to throw you a Christmas party. You know, for being such a wise and fearsome leader." Liquidator nodded. "Yes, finding all this stuff at the last minute was quite a bargain." "Here," Bushroot said, holding out the tray to Negaduck. "Try a cookie."

Negaduck took the tray and without warning slammed it over Bushroot's head. "You Stupid Knobs! I don't care about this stupid holiday! I HATE IT! I'd love to shoot the guy whoever invented it!" Megavolt lifted a finger. "But, no one invented it, it just came to be. It was even talked about in a popular book."

"That's the bible you moron!" Negaduck shouted. "No one cares about Christmas for that reason anymore anyway! It's all about presents now!" QuackerJack pulled out his friend Mr. Banana Brain and spoke through him. "but, we thought you'd enjoy the party, Marty." Negaduck's beak curled back into a snarl as he approached the clown and his stuffed friend. Negaduck answered the doll instead of QuackerJack. "I don't enjoy parties. I trash 'em!"

With that, Negaduck pulled out his chainsaw and went for the closest thing; the buffet table. Food went everywhere as the table was sliced into splinters. Next to go was the decorations, the holiday party favors and finally the tree. "No! He's alive!" Bushroot shouted trying to stop the crazed menace but, he was too late. With a few quick slices the tree and all the ornaments were on the floor, diced up and in broken pieces. Negaduck huffed and puffed from the sudden rage.

Bushroot and Megavolt ran over to the tree. The powerhouse rodent picked up the broken lights and wept. "They were some of my best friends." He whimpered. Bushroot on the other hand was trying to give the tree what looked like a form of CPR. "Piney! Please speak to me!" The Liquidator confronted Negaduck; being the bravest of the bunch. "Do you know all the trouble we went through to set this up. We actually paid for some of it."

Negaduck pushed the villain aside, "Well that was stupid! You're villains, don't buy it, steal it!" He headed for the door and kicked it open. "the party's over now, GET OUT!"

QuackerJack led a very upset and heartbroken Bushroot out of the building followed by a depressed Megavolt and an angry Liquidator. The water hound turned to him a minute later, his body starting to harden from the cold. "Even a villain can enjoy Christmas as long as they're with friends." Negaduck stood there with a finger on his bill as if in thought. "Hmm, in the words of a famous scrooge, BAH HUM BUG!" With that Negaduck slammed the door on Liquidator who was thrown back and fell apart like slush. It took a minute to gather himself back up before he quickly followed behind the others before he froze entirely.

Chapter 2: The Tomboy of Christmas Past

It was midnight by the time Negaduck had shoved all the Christmas junk into the closet. Finally he could get some rest without all that dumb holiday cheer crap lying over the place. He removed his costume and fedora by throwing it on the chair leaving him only with his skull boxers. He jumped into bed and looked up at the ceiling. "Christmas.....Pfft, what a waste of time." As he turned to go to sleep, he came face to face with NegaLaunchpad. "WHAT THE- oof!" He fell out of bed as his negaverse henchmen surprised him. Negaduck got up and aimed to slug him in the face. "What's the big idea you moron!"

however, Negaduck's fist went right through him causing Negaduck to fall back from the momentum of his swing. The villain stood up rubbing his head. "What, you finally get hit by a bus?" NegaLaunchpad glared back at his boss. "No but, I am here to tell you to expect more guests." Negaduck gave the ghostly sidekick a tired glare. "Who says I even have to answer the door?"

NegaLaunchpad started to head out the door himself, Expect the first as one, the second at two and the last one at three. They'll change your outlook on Christmas by morning." Negaduck laughed as NegaLaunchpad left. "Yeah, I'll think it's even dumber!"

By the time the clock struck one Negaduck was snoring loudly. Suddenly without warning a translucent soccer ball came flying through the air and struck Negaduck in the bill. The villain sat up with a start rubbing his beak. "What the hell?" "Get up, we got places ta go and people ta see!"

Negaduck opened his eyes to see..."A kid? Wait a minute, you're that brat that always hangs around Dipwing!" Negs reached for his shot gun that he kept under his bed until the soccer ball hit his beak again. "That won't work on me. I'm the ghost of Christmas Past!"

Negaduck turned to go back to bed. "That's nice kid now get lost before I go looking for my bazooka." Gosalyn floated above Negaduck's bed and threw his costume at him. When the villain still didn't stir she rolled her sleeves up. "Ok, you wanna try it the hard way huh. Fine with me." She used his blanket like a sack and wrapped Negaduck up in it. She then flew out the window and into the snowy night.

Negaduck struggled the whole way. Finally Gosalyn dropped him on the ground. Realizing that he was outside Negaduck reluctantly put his costume on. "Ok Kid. Playtime's over!" He looked through his cape pockets for a weapon but, it was empty. "I emptied your pockets before we left. It would have been too heavy to carry otherwise." She informed him. "Oh joy." Negaduck replied with heavy sarcasm.

"Speaking of joy, look in there." Gosalyn pointed to a lighthouse. It was Megavolt's home. With a sigh and a little bit of curiosity, Negaduck peered inside. It was the Fearsome Four. They were having their Christmas party. Megavolt had just finished lighting up the tree and Bushroot was making sure it had enough water to keep it's leaves a healthy green. QuackerJack had just finished with the decorations as Liquidator was taking cookies out of the oven. "So, the losers do this every year ey? What a pointless waste of time." Negaduck commented as he started to walk away.

Gosalyn floated over and got in his way. "Get over there. You need to see this." Negaduck curled his beak back revealing his fangs. "And what if I don't?" Gosalyn pulled out a photo and showed it to him. "I'll show this to a certain fire demoness. Negaduck glared at the kid with wide, angry eyes. "You wouldn't dare." "Try me!" She glared back. Negaduck sighed and slowly walked back over to the window. Gosalyn put the picture away with a victorious smile.

As Negaduck looked back inside Bushroot was sitting at the table with the others drinking some warm water. "It's a real shame that Negaduck's not here. He's never around for the holidays." Liquidator nodded. "One out of five evil members often spends his holidays alone." QuackerJack was pigging out with the feast and was so busy that he let Mr. Banana Brain do the talking for him. "We should have invited him, it's not as much fun without Negaduck, Chuck." "Gulp, what he said." added the clown through a mouthful of holiday ham.

That's when Megavolt's finger sparked. "We should throw him a surprise Christmas party next year. At one of his hideouts and call him over there. I bet he'd be really surprised." Negaduck turned to Gosalyn. "Wait a minute, next year? They did that just a few hours ago." The tomboy shook her head. "Hellooo, Ghost of Christmas Past remember? This was last year's Christmas. They were having fun. You wanna see where you were?"

Before Negaduck could answer she snapped her fingers and they were outside the prison near a jail cell window. Negaduck and Gosalyn peered inside, Where a cold and lonely Negaduck sat. "I bet last year's Christmas wasn't very fun huh?" She asked. Negaduck snorted. "Dipwing just got lucky. I broke out the next day anyway." "Yeah but, you missed the fun and the party." Negaduck was just about to give her a piece of his mind when her wrist watch sounded. "Well, My time's up. I hope you learned at least something from this." "Yeah, I learned to strangle annoying ghosts!"

As he went to strangle Gosalyn he found himself falling out of bed. He sat up and noticed his costume was still on. "....Bah! Nothing but a stupid dream." He got back in bed and tried to fall back asleep.

Chapter 3: The Sidekick of Christmas Present.

Negaduck was just about to fall asleep when the clock struck two O'clock. "Where's my hammer?" Negaduck asked in a grumpy voice. "Don't know. It's kinda hard to find anything through all this food." Replied a cheerful yet, familiar voice. Negaduck sat straight up and let the blanket roll down his head. He growled when he saw Darkwing's sidekick sitting in the middle of the room eating food. "If your here then where's that no good do-gooder!" Launchpad chuckled. "Hehe, He's not here. It's my turn at least that's what the ghost of Christmas past told me. She also wished me luck."

Negaduck got a wiff of the food that was laid out on his floor and set his eyes on a perfectly roasted turkey. As he went to pull one of the legs off, his hands went right through it as if the food were a ghostly illusion. "Hey what gives!" Launchpad took another bite of his pie and smiled. "This is the food of generosity so, I'm guessing you gotta be nice in order to eat it." He said with a smile. Negaduck rolled up his sleeve. "I'll show you generosity by only giving you one black eye!" Negaduck took one step and the food vanished.

Launchpad waved his hand in pain as he had bitten it instead of the slice of pie that vanished. "Awe, why'd ya have to go and chase it off like that?" "what happened?" Negaduck asked. "Generosity is a very fragile thing Negaduck and so are feelings. Come along. We've got two stops to make." Negaduck headed back to bed. "Hooo no ya don't I'm not going anywhere."

Negaduck turned back to find Launchpad gone. "Finally, a ghost with brains." Suddenly, his window shattered as a claw reached over and grabbed Negaduck by his cape and pulled him outside. He soon found himself in a ghostly ThunderQuack. Negaduck screamed various threats and curses at the pilot until they made a crash landing in a suburban neighborhood. Negaduck was so busy cussing out the pilot for his actions that he had missed the address of the house in question.

He looked inside and saw it was the home of his enemy, Darkwing Duck! And there the mallard was, in his full costume standing by the tree. "You expect me to stand here and not try to kill him!" He went to pick up a rock and throw it at the window to break it when he couldn't grasp the stone, his hand just phased through it. "C'mon! Gimme a break here!" The ThunderQuack's claw grabbed the villain and pushed him up against the window to watch.

Darkwing had knelt down by the tree. He was comforting a sad Gosalyn. "What's the matter? You'll be able to open your presents in the morning. It's only one more night." Gosalyn looked up at him. "It's not that it's...Grandpa. I know he was gone last Christmas too but, we were so busy trying to stop Bushroot that I didn't stop and think about him. This was our favorite time of year." Darkwing placed a hand on her shoulder. "Negaduck pointed a finger to his beak and pretended to gag. "What a bunch of saps!"

Launchpad had gotten down and poked the villain in the arm. "Hey, how would you have felt if someone had killed your family?" Negaduck laughed. "I'd celebrate and congratulate the one who did me the favor." Launchpad sighed as they both kept watching. Darkwing took out a gift from under the tree and gave it to her. "Here kiddo, it's early but, I think you need it now." The tomboy opened it slowly and when she saw what it was she tried to hold back her tears of joy. It was the picture of Gosalyn and her Grandfather. "I took it to the photo store and got a new frame for it and also was able to get that grape jelly stain out of the background." The hero told her. Without another word Gosalyn hugged her dad tightly.

"Well ain't that cute, the knob made his little fan feel better." Negaduck said in a mock tone. Launchpad glared at him. "She's not the only one feeling down this evening. C'mon." In the blink of an eye Negaduck was being carried across town. They were going so fast that Negaduck wasn't able to tell where that house was located. Suddenly, the claw let go of him and Negaduck plummeted to the ground, crash-landing in Bushroot's Green House. "I'm gonna kill that pilot next time I see 'im!" Negaduck replied as he stood up.

He then heard the sound of someone crying and walked over to see the Fearsome Four gathered. Liquidator, Megavolt and QuackerJack were trying to cheer Bushroot up who was very upset. "Why'd he have to go and kill Piney? He was just a harmless little tree. He still had his whole life ahead of him." A nearby plant offered it's leaf to him as a tissue. "Thanks." He said as he blew his nose. "Negaduck had no right to do that." Stated QuackerJack. "Yeah, and this time he really busted my bulbs!" Megavolt added in. "He really doesn't know a good bargain when he sees it." Liquidator added in.

"All we were trying to do was give him a nice party so he wouldn't be lonely this Christmas, he didn't have to treat us like that." Bushroot said hitting his leafy fist against his knee. Spike came over and stood behind him while placing a leafy arm on his shoulder. "Thanks Spike."

QuackerJack slammed his fist into his other hand. "Well, that settles it. We won't invite him to anymore parties and we won't throw him anymore either! Agreed?" "Agreed!" The other three said in unison. "Well good! I hated your dumb parties anyway! Next time I'll chase you knobs around with the chainsaw! What to you think of that you stupid pilot?" He looked around but, Launchpad was gone.Negaduck ran outside the greenhouse to scan the skies in search of the annoying jet. The ThunderQuack was no where in sight. "Well fine I'll walk home! And maybe I'll miss the last stupid ghost while I'm at it!" He turned and headed back to his hideout."
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