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Darkwing Duck's Wonderful Life

Darkwing Duck’s Wonderful Life: Ways the Masked Mallard has made a Difference

If Drake Mallard had never been born, the city of St. Canard and the whole world as well would be a very different place. In the first place, all the people he has touched or influenced would be direly affected as well. For example: Gosalyn would be dead since the first episode, Launchpad would never have joined the crimefighting game, nor would Honker, and Morgana would still be a criminal, meaning that whatever they have done with Darkwing Duck in the name of justice would be undone. Mostly Darkwing Duck has made a good difference, while some other times he had indirectly been the cause of certain events. Here are the ways he affected the world in each episode (assuming no police or SHUSH action would have been taken otherwise).

Note: This is a very simplified version of events; and only my take on possible outcomes. There are so many repercussions for each major action that we take that almost anything could turn out differently; to paraphrase Clarence Oddbody, such is the nature of how each man’s life touches so many other lives, and that he leaves an awful hole when he isn’t around.

1, 2. Darkly Dawns the Duck: A group of thugs never would have been brought to jail. The ramrod would be stolen without a hitch, Gosalyn would be kidnapped, and later murdered when it is confirmed she doesn’t know the code. Bulba would eventually escape prison, and continue working to give St. Canard a better class of criminal. Gosalyn would be mourned by no one, dead as an orphan nobody wanted.

3. Beauty and the Beet: Rhoda Dendron would be a plant, and may or not be happy for it. Bushroot, on the other hand, may never have turned to crime.

4. Getting Antsy: 6 burglars, 9 car thieves, 21 muggers, 11 kidnappers, 5 international terrorists and a voodoo king with an army of zombies never would have been stopped. Lilliput Gooney would have gone through with his plan to shrink the city’s landmarks and banks for his golf course, and gotten away with stealing the money.

5. Night of the Living Spud: It is possible that the events here never would have taken place if Bushroot had successfully turned Rhoda Dendron into a plant. On the other hand, if they did, then the Muddlefoots and probably others would be potato-zombies, and ‘Posey would probably still be amok if Bushroot hadn’t either reclaimed her or killed her.

6. Apes of Wrath: The resort for criminals would have been opened, weapons would be smuggled and distributed, and Dr. Brute may or may not be dead.

7. Dirty Money: The economy would have been plunged into anarchy due to all the cleaned money, and FOWL’s plan would be successful. Hooter would be killed, and SHUSH would be run by *shudder* Grizzlykov!

8. Duck Blind: Megavolt gets away with robbing the department store, steals an electric car and I guess that’s it.

9. Comic Book Capers: Megavolt’s plan to control the city’s power would have been successful.

10. Water Way to Go: FOWL’s plan works; Oilrabia is washed away and FOWL controls most of the world’s oil; the princess drowned in the process.

11. Paraducks: The record store is robbed and ‘the king’ rules St. Canard (although I doubt Bulba would consider the town big enough for the two of them).

12. Easy Comes, Easy Grows: Bushroot’s counterfeiting probably would have been traced eventually, but once again he may not have turned to crime, except out of necessity, if Darkwing Duck had never been around to interfere with his initial plan.

13. A Revolution in Home Appliances: The rogue living appliances take over St. Canard.

14. Trading Faces: Either the world pays FOWL’s ransom, or the world is destroyed by the stopping of its rotation.

15. Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlatan: Tuskernini’s scheme to take over the studio is successful; after that he might have just been happy running the studio and given up a life of crime.

16. Can’t Bayou Love: Jambalaya Jake and Gumbo’s crime wave is successful for a while, but they are too stupid not to get caught eventually.

17. Bearskin Thug: FOWL successfully weaponizes the park, destroying the natural wildlife in the process.

18. You Sweat your Life: Jock Newbody succeeds in creating his immortality elixir (like a jock version of Ras Al Ghul).

19. Days of Blunder: Not much here; this is mostly the story of Darkwing’s own internal conflict, influenced by Quackerjack’s attempts to manipulate him. Drake does save Meekus, but the guy was only about to jump in the first place because he hated being Darkwing Duck.

20, 21. Just us Justice Ducks: If Darkwing Duck had never been born, there probably wouldn’t be any Fearsome Five either. Negaduck wouldn’t exist either (mostly a bonus), there would be no Liquidator, and Bushroot may not have become a criminal either. That leaves Quackerjack and Megavolt who may or may not have teamed up otherwise, but they don’t have the grandiose planning abilities of Negaduck. And of course if there was no Fearsome Five, there would also be no Justice Ducks assembled.

22. Double Darkwings: No real difference, except for putting Jake and Gumbo in prison at the end.

23. Aduckyphobia: Moliarty’s rather far-fetched scheme works, and everyone is blown off the planet.

24. When Aliens Collide: Wacko successfully destroys the Earth with the Seismo-Spheres.

25. Jurassic Jumble: Dr. Fossil succeeds in his plan to end life on the planet to make way for his new breed of dinosaurs.

26. Cleanliness is Next to Badliness: A few banks would have been robbed, and FOWL refinanced.

27. Smart than a Speeding Bullet: Comet Guy would never have learned about being a superhero, and FOWL would have used the FOWL ball on St. Canard.

28. All’s Fahrenheit in Love and War: Isis Vander Chill would be successful in goldplating St. Canard, and the city’s residents would die from the heat.

29. Whiffle While You Work: The Whiffle Boy tournament, and maybe the company in general, would be destroyed.

30. Ghoul of My Dreams: St. Canard would be put to sleep forever, and Morgana would still be a criminal.

31. Adopt-A-Con: If Tuskernini had stayed with crime after taking over the studio in “Hush, Hush Sweet Charlatan”, then he would have gone on robbing banks in disguises, although without Darkwing Duck there would be fewer villains to impersonate.

32. Toys Czar Us: Without Darkwing and Gosalyn to intervene, Quackerjack would have kidnapped more of St. Canard’s children and enslaved them for his toy utopia.

33. The Secret Origins of Darkwing Duck: Not really applicable, but certainly there would be no Darkwing museum or strange janitor with a knack for storytelling.

34. Up, Up and Awry: Without Darkwing and Gizmoduck’s intervention, Megavolt would have likely destroyed the city with his giant electromagnet.

35. Life, the Negaverse and Everything: If there had been no Darkwing Duck, then likely there would be no Negaduck as well, so whatever damage Negaduck has caused in the Negaverse would be undone, although there would still be psycho Muddlefoots and no Gosalyn and fewer members of the Friendly Four as well.

36. Dry Hard: It was basically Darkwing Duck’s interference that created the Liquidator in the first place, so all his crimes would probably be undone, except for his initial water scam as Bud Flood. On the other hand, maybe the police would have intervened and accidentally sent him over the railing into the vat anyway.

37. Heavy Mental: FOWL would have stolen and utilized the Norma Ray.

38. Disguise the Limit: No Darkwing Duck, no Negaduck, no story. Someone else would have been Dr. Bellum's test subject, if S.H.U.S.H. was still around.

39. Planet of the Capes: Most likely, Planet Mertz would have destroyed itself from sheer craziness.

40. Darkwing Doubloon: No Darkwing Duck or Negaduck to lead either group of pirates; fate of the other crew members unknown.

41. It’s a Wonderful Leaf: Bushroot would have gone all Grinchy and stolen all the presents, trees and decorations in St. Canard. But then, maybe the people of St. Canard would have joined hands in the town square and started singing “Fahoo Forays”; if there was still a St. Canard after everything else that is.

42. Twitching Channels: If there were no Darkwing Duck in his world, then there would be no Darkwing Duck show in the real world (sob!).

43. Dances with Bigfoot: No Darkwing Duck, no kidnapping, no story. Launchpad would have been the next victim, if he was still around, and this would have made a weird Ducktales episode.

44. Twin Beaks: The mutant cabbages would have taken over the world, if the cows couldn’t stop them.

45. The Incredible Bulk: Likely the events would be undone, since Bushroot may never have created Spike or the mutant daisy due to having Sarah Bellum as a fellow plant friend.

46. My Valentine Ghoul: No Darkwing Duck, no Gosalyn, no Negaduck to start a diamond smuggling ring, Morgana would a very lonely Valentine’s day. Or possibly start a war of words with her father over his choice of a suitor.

47. Dead Duck: Not much, since most of the episode was just a dream. Maybe...

48. A Duck by any Other Name: Tuskernini would have stolen the St. Canard diamond.

49. Let’s Get Respectable: No Darkwing Duck, no Negaduck, no story. The Cheese Gang and the other muggers would run amok.

50. In like Blunt: Quite possibly Derek Blunt wouldn’t have been able to stop Phineas Sharp, and as a result many SHUSH agents would have been killed or exposed.

51. Quack of Ages: Quackerjack may have succeeded in his plan to wipe the yo-yo out of existence.

52. Time and Punishment: Darkwarrior Duck would certainly not exist, but then again neither would Darkwing or Gosalyn, so the future would probably be at least as grim and oppressive as that one, maybe with Bulba or FOWL or one of several groups of aliens having taken over St. Canard.

53. Stressed to Kill: Quackerjack and Megavolt’s crime spree would have gone on a lot longer, and things would probably have turned chaotic in St. Canard due to too much relaxation.

54. The Darkwing Squad: No Darkwing Duck, no Darkwing squad. Or, (gulp) maybe a Gizmo Squad! The horror...

55. Inside Binkie’s Brain: Hard to say, maybe Binkie would have stayed a superhero. Or Megavolt might have offed her. Who knows?

56. The Haunting of Mr. Banana Brain: Maybe Paddywhack never would have woken up here; but on the other hand, who would stop him when he awakens in the future?

57. Slime OK, You’re OK: No Darkwing, no Gosalyn, no lonely Bushroot, no story.

58. Whirled History: Not much here, since most of the episode took place in Gosalyn’s head or went on while she was sleepwalking, and with no Darkwing there would be no Gosalyn either.

59. U.F.Foe: Darkwing wouldn’t be around to save Launchpad’s brain from being replaced, and Gleeb would rule the throne.

60. A Star is Scorned: Hard to say, since the episode apparently takes place over a TV show that Drake and Gosalyn are watching.

61. The Quiverwing Quack: No Darkwing Duck, no Gosalyn, no Negaduck, no story.

62. Jail Bird: No Negaduck to steal the gem, no Liquidator existing, and the other members of the Fearsome Five may or may not be in prison otherwise.

63. Dirtysomething: St. Canard would be mucked, then spotlessly cleaned.

64. Kung Fooled: Goose Lee’s plan to use the dragon for his theme park would have worked anyway.

65. Bad Luck Duck: No Darkwing Duck, no Negaduck, no story.

66. That Sinking Feeling: Moliarty’s plan to plunge the world into darkness would have been successful, although the world would also have been drastically affected by lack of lunar orbit.

67. Film Flam: Tuskernini’s movie character crime spree would have been successful.

68. Negaduck: No Darkwing Duck, no story; although Megavolt may have used his tronsplitter on other people later on.

69. Fungus Amongus: Morgana would still be a criminal, and her little pizza scheme would have worked.

70. Slaves to Fashion: Tuskernini would have successfully robbed everyone at the party.

71. Something Fishy: Neptunia would have flooded St. Canard, and also never become one of the Justice Ducks.

72. Tiff of the Titans: FOWL successfully steals the EGRT, and Gizmoduck may or may not be able to stop them on his own.

73. Calm a Chameleon: Camille is able to counterfeit her money for a while, although she would probably be caught sooner or later.

74. Battle of the Brainteasers: Without his affiliation with Darkwing Duck, Honker may not have been able to save the Earth from the alien hats.

75. Bad Tidings: Either FOWL’s ransom would somehow have been paid, or the world would be drowned by tidal waves (which is impractical for FOWL since it would drown them as well).

76. Going Nowhere Fast: No Darkwing Duck, no Negaduck, no story.

77. A Brush with Oblivion: Splatter Phoenix would have received her ransom, and gone on with creating her crazed artwork.

78. The Merchant of Menace: Weasel Loman’s plot would have been successful, and maybe Herb Muddlefoot would have been killed by Grizzlykov’s men.

79. Monsters R Us: No Darkwing, no Gosalyn, no reformed Morgana, no story.

80. Inherit the Wimp: Megavolt would have frozen all the people of St. Canard for his crazy generator.

81. The Revenge of the Brainteasers, Too: The events of this episode would be undone, due to Honker not stopping the
alien hats during their last appearance.

82. Star-Crossed Circuits: Possibly, SHUSH would have tried out the D2000 for themselves, only to find their work hindered just as Darkwing’s had been.

83. The Steerminator: There would have been no ramrod explosion, so Taurus Bulba would never have become a cyborg. On the other hand, he would still be running his crime empire, since there was no Darkwing Duck to stop him last time.

84. The Frequency Fiends: The Frequency Fiends never would have been created, because there is no Darkwing and no Gosalyn. On the other hand, the device might have been used on someone else in SHUSH.

85. Paint Misbehavin’: Splatter Phoenix would have destroyed the comic book convention.

86. Hot Spells: No Darkwing, no Gosalyn, no story.

87. Fraudcast News: If there had been no Darkwing Duck, then Bianca Beakley may never have turned to crime to boost ratings. On the other hand, maybe she would have anyway; anyone who would dress up like a bug and try to kill someone for better ratings must be borderline psychotic.

88. Clash Reunion: Without Drake Mallard’s intervention at the school prom, Elmo Sputterspark would have hurt or even killed everyone. Sounds like the movie “Carrie”.

89. Mutancy on the Bouncy: Most likely, Cement Head would have destroyed the city.

90. Malice’s Restaurant: Morgana would not have reformed, and may not have opened up her restaurant. Also, no Darkwing Duck to invite the cute little lost bunnies, and no Negaduck to use his attack squid or try to warp the bunnies.

91. Extinct Possibility: No Darkwing to go back in time, participate in the race, or get encased in the amber. So not that much really.
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"Sometimes, being a parent makes crimefighting seem easy!"

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